In relationships, you either love or babysit. You love because you’re someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend. You babysit because you are trying to watch out taking his or her mom’s duties on to your shoulders.
No, I’m not talking about the care and concern we show in our relationships. I’m talking about the time you become a challenge to their mother when you turn into the over protective lover. Also no, you cannot be his duplicate mother and girlfriend at once. It’s ‘A’ or ‘B’. No doubles.
Being over protective does very little good, but rather turns out as a harm for both of you. Why may you ask? Because the world never worked out on the hands of an extremist and neither will a relationship.
Yet let’s get real. We become over protective partners due to some major reasons or flaws in ourselves or the person we love. Trust me when I say, I feel you. One of the main issues which tempt us to be over protective is either that person has a record of a cheater or has cheated on you or lack of trust in their partner.
Cheater / Cheater Record
This particular person has either cheated on you and is running on his yellow card or you’ve heard facts on his previous relationships which he cheated. If your lover is running on his yellow card, understand that he might have deserved that precious second chance. But no, he is NOT worthy to have the extravagant share of your time and effort to keep track. A person cheats and betrays another due to lack of morality and standards. You do not need to bother enlightening a person of what his parents and peers never bother to teach. If that was the case, wouldn’t adopting an orphan be a better choice?
If you’re over concern because of his history records, it’s time you set past apart for a while. People can always correct their flaws and change, from better to worse or worse to good. Yet, of course, there are folks who’ll never do. Therefore give him chance and space to rearrange his life and prove himself. Everybody deserves a chance to fix, so put the past aside and be open minded.
Lack of Trust and Constant Suspicion
Trust is the sole backbone in a relationship. We begin to imagine their life when we are not around and our mind fires up to mess with our thoughts. You start to fuss about who they talk to, where they go and even start calling their friends for a background check when they don’t pick up a single phone call. Of course, you will ask for passwords in every single social media too.
It is clear that you do so because you truly love that person to incredible heights and I truly respect you for that. Yet this constant ‘keeping check’ will not preserve your relationship, but create the foremost steps for its downfall. Eventually, he might, unfortunately, leave you not because he cheated but because he is simply fed up.
You do not live on a deserted planet, he too got his own counterpart of friends and family as you do. When he says “She’s just a ‘friend’ “, believe it. Don’t bother rethinking if he’s lying because it’s his loss. Not yours. The truth will emerge off every lie.
It is never healthy to let our predictions take lead without giving a chance for solid facts to clarify. If you keep suspecting without solid proof, it’ll lead to drastic situations you will not wanna go through.
Don’t let submerged thoughts, predictions or the bad character of a person distress you or make you over protective to the level it distresses your partner. Love is supposed to be fun, make sure it’s a happy place for both of you.
Did You Enjoy This?
Then sign up to our weekly newsletter so you won’t miss out on great posts like this. We share practical guides on starting your own business, money and creating a meaningful life in Sri Lanka. Add your email and hit submit!