It is a painful thing to look at your own trouble and know that you yourself and no one else has made it.
Why did it happen to me? Why did she leave me? Why is my boss being a dick to me? Why don’t I have a car? Why don’t I have a boyfriend? Why do cats hate me? Why does my life suck?
If you’re seeking answers to at least one question from the above list, this post is for you.
What I’m about to say will shock you. You will not like it. In fact, if I’m next to you, you will start arguing me and if you’re a real hothead, you’ll even punch me. But some things in life should be said and learned nevertheless. So here I go.
Whatever happens to you in life is your responsibility!
I want to drive this point home so I’ll repeat it. Whatever happens to you in life is your responsibility.
Yes, yes. You have heard this countless times. Your parents told this to you. Your teachers said the same thing. So did your friends. But do you really understand what it really means to take responsibility?
What is taking responsibility?
It’s not that hard. Taking responsibility means (wait for it), is TAKING RESPONSIBILITY! There’s no magical groundbreaking meaning to it. But most of us seem to misunderstand the idea of taking responsibility.
Taking responsibility is realizing that your life is your making. Nothing else. If you believe that your life is in your hands and no one else’s, you have taken responsibility.
Knowing that your life depends on your hand is relieving for the bold souls. If you start believing that no matter what happens in life, you have total control of your life builds hope. It gives you the courage to take risks and grow yourself. It allows you to make mistakes and try new things knowing that, no matter what happens you’ll find a way.
But for some, taking responsibility for your life can be daunting. Why? Because life is difficult. That’s why. You need to consciously make so many decisions to create a great life. This is tough shit. So what do the weaker souls do? They put the responsibility on somebody else. Here are some classic examples.
I hate going to work on the bus. I wish I could by a car. But I can’t because my parents are not rich.
My job sucks. My boss is being a real dick. But I can’t help it. I need the money so I’ll have to continue working here.
It wasn’t me. It was her fault. She was supposed to create the proposal.
What happens when you start taking responsibility?
The blame game stops. That’s what happens when you take responsibility. Suddenly you don’t have anyone to blame.
Imagine that you have to do a group project at the University. We all know what happens in “group” projects. Two people do all the work while rest do nothing. If you’re always doing the work, it’s natural to blame the rest but once you start taking responsibility, you’ll stop blaming others. Because, seriously, what’s the point of blaming them? It doesn’t get you to where you want.
When you take responsibility for your life, questions like “Who did it?” “Whose fault was it?” “Why is it always happening to me?” disappears. Suddenly you forget all the unwanted questions and you start to become a problem solver. You will start focusing on the solution rather than blaming someone or something else.
Sometimes it isn’t your fault but still…
In some situations, you can’t really control what happens to you.
Imagine if your boss is really a dick. What if he is the worst guy you met in your entire life? What if no matter how good you perform your job, he always finds a fault. Then how should you take responsibility?
Sometimes you don’t have control of what happens to you in life. Someone will blame you for no reason. The brand new car you bought can break down on the road. Your cat can run away with a neighboring cat. Shit happens. How can you take responsibility then?
You can’t control what happens to you but how you react to it is your responsibility. If your car broke down, it’s not your responsibility. But how you react to it is yours. If someone stole your entire household, including the dirty socks (our thieves don’t leave anything behind!), it’s not your responsibility. But your reactions are your responsibility. How you come out of it is your responsibility. If you’re suffering from a disease that cannot be curable (I hope not), it’s not your fault that you’re sick. But how you live your life once you find out about your sickness is your responsibility.
Don’t take my word. John Wick takes responsibility too!
In case you didn’t know, I’m a huge fan of the John Wick movie. If you haven’t watched both part 1 and 2, go out and bang your head on a wall. Because they are that good.
In the beginning of the story, John Wick’s wife dies. To worsen things, mob leader Viggo’s son steals John Wick’s car (his favorite Mustang) and kills Daisy; the dog he got as a present from his dying wife.
Even though it’s in a movie, what happened to John Wick was devastating. That was terrible.
If it happened to one of us, we would be crying and asking God why it happened to us. John Wick grieves too, but he takes responsibility. He couldn’t control what happened to his wife; the dog nor his car. But he takes full responsibility for what happens after. He kills everyone who was responsible for his misery. I mean everyone. That’s the purest sense of taking responsibility.
Now, I’m not asking you to go and kill everyone who has wronged you. But start taking responsibility for your life. Your life is yours. No one else’s. It’s yours to make whatever you want out of life and it’s only yours.
Feel like taking responsibility?
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